Ripped from the Headlines-Made Up News Stuff for Your Tuesday Coffee Klatch

Here it is Tuesday Mar 31st, ripping off the calendar of the last day in March-as we make up news stuff ripped from the news headlines and filter it for your Tuesday Coffee Klatch. Warning this news is made up and will not give you a sense or a view of the world in real time. Any incidents related to actual events is purely coincidental, unless Brian Williams retells it according to his versionIt is March 31st, the 90th day of 2015, with just 275 days left in the year.

The big Hillary Clinton Email scandal continues-latest news is she wiped her server clean, ditched all the important emails and will be writing a new book totally through email for easy read and delete capabilities. Don't like Chapter 1? Delete it? Want to cut and paste Chapters 3 &4, you can do that. The new Hillary Clinton Email book- "I Got Mail, but I Deleted It" will be available through email exchanges everywhere and easily deletable by the touch of a button. The Eiffel Tower makes history notes, as French engineer Gustave Effiel unfurled the French tricolor from atop the Eiffel Tower, officially marking its completion.

In 1949, Newfoundland (now called Newfoundland and Labrador) entered confederation as Canada's tenth province. In 1968, President Lyndon B. Johnson stunned the country by announcing he would not seek re-election. President Johnson went on to star in a TV series called "Have Welfare-Will Travel" a romantic Western Comedy where he plays a tenderfoot named Mac Tools a gunfighter who travels town to town and signs up citizens for Food stamps and starts new Great Society Territorial towns.

Happy Birthday wishes to the following Birthday Celebrities for Mar 31st--- Comedian Gabe Kaplan is 71. Former Vice President Al Gore is 67. Author David Eisenhower is 67. Actress Rhea Perlman is 67. Actor Ed Marinaro is 65. Rock musician Angus Young (AC/DC) is 60. Also blowing out Candles today is Christopher Walken who turns 72

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Innovative Consumer news front..Al Gore bottling his Own Global Warming brew

Politics Makes Strange Groping Fellows

Defense Secretary Ash Carter said he laughed when he saw VP Joe Biden groping his wife. According to the Defense Secretary “Oh, I laughed. I laughed. I laughed. They know each other extremely well, and we’re great friends with the Bidens,” he said in an interview aired Tuesday with NBC’s Savannah Guthrie on the Today Show

HEY I HAVE A HOT TUB, HOW ABOUT A DIP?

Biden releasing his new Memoir Called Hands On Training-featuring the best Groping pictures of a VP in Office
The book will be released after he leaves office- way after with movie deals a possibility..as a remake, perhaps the Ghost sequel

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Pentagon: Military recruitment challenges ahead...

Considers easing of enlistment standards...

From the Halls of Montezuman to the Shores of Tripoli and Rio Grande and beyond: Here is the Amnesty News Headlines America!!!!

30% of kids in Boston schools require English instruction...

Half of students in some CO schools from non-English speaking homes...

One third of residents in N VA now foreign-born...

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It's a Mad Mad Mad Technological world. Drones are being outfitted for all kinds of purposes. Law Enforcement, Pizza Delivery..and a newer technology:

Automation expert Festo has created three robots inspired by butterflies, ants and a chameleon. They can fly in packs, self charge, work in groups and pick up pretty much anything.
The pick of the bunch is the FlexShapeGripper, a grabbing tool that’s modelled on the incredible tongue of a chameleon. To catch prey, chameleons’ tongues act like suction devices, grabbing flies in an adhesive, form-fitting, interlocking hold.

then there is the Presidential Eye in the Sky drone, very effective for Presidential Joy Riding around DC

Jeb Bush defends NSA Surveillance, he doesn't want anyone stealing his Famous Jeb Bush Baked Beans recipe.

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McDonald's Corp is introducing table service in Germany as it reinvents itself as a "modern, progressive burger company" under new Chief Executive Steve Easterbrook, it said on Monday.

Diners at its Frankfurt Airport restaurant in Germany, one of the company's toughest markets, will now be able to be served at their table after placing an order either at the front counter, a digital kiosk or with waiter carrying a tablet PC.

"This is completely new for McDonald's," Thomas Brand, head of development and restaurant innovation for Germany, told a company magazine.

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Navajo Nation sees tax on junk food as way to combat health problems...As a way to beat rampant obesity, heart disease, diabetes--there is a 2% tax being levied on junk foods. Got a hankering for French Fries, Twinkies, Chips, you gotta pay a 2% tax.. Okay to keep the Native American from getting fat while keeping their wallets lean. By the way, they were paying 5% tax on healthy foods, like fruits and veggies, and that has been lifted. But, the fruits and veggies are still costly, like 7 dollars for fresh apples...an apple a day keeps the doctor away, if you can afford it. Again added to the burden for alot of fixed income people the 2% tax on fast foods. Tax begins April 1st, tomorrow, and is No Joke!

Finally in the News....trouble for the Vatican?  Two renegade Catholic bishops plan to consecrate a new generation of bishops to spread their ultra-traditionalist movement called "The Resistance" in defiance of the Vatican, one of them said at a remote monastery in Brazil.

French Bishop Jean-Michel Faure, himself consecrated only two weeks ago by the Holocaust-denying British Bishop Richard Williamson, said the new group rejected Pope Francis and what it called his "new religion" and would not engage in a dialogue with Rome until the Vatican turned back the clock.

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That wraps this Tuesday news sipping Coffee Klatch. Thanks for letting me into your headlines, until the next time I can delve deeper into the darkest recesses of my warped speed imagination and pull more incredibly made up news out for your perusal, may your house always be safe from Lions, Tigers, Bears and incredible Prayer chains and prayer warriors kneeling at your door