Saving Saturday News for Your Coffee Klatch Session

Welcome to a Saturday and today's blog is in no reflection a hit on the abilities of the President and his hosting capabilities. As you can see he has a busy schedule...outside the White House as our Nations talk show host leaderToday is Saturday, February 28th, 2015...ripping off the page of the calendar as we gear up for March. This is the 59th day of 2015 and there are 306 days remaining.
****
And on this date in 1953, scientists James D. Watson and Francis H.C. Crick announced they had discovered the double-helix structure of DNA. This discovery has helped in solving crimes and discovering on the Maury Povitch show who is baby mama and daddy ...Other highlights from years ago, on this date, In 2013, Benedict XVI became the first pope in 600 years to resign, ending an eight-year pontificate. (Benedict was succeeded the following month by Pope Francis.)was there a story behind this? Really Enquiring minds want to know...and finally the last of our history notes for today
One year ago: Delivering a blunt warning to Moscow, President Barack Obama expressed deep concern over reported military activity inside Ukraine by Russia and warned "there will be costs" for any intervention.

***

BIG FIGHT OVER THE INTERNET:

Republicans strike back: FCC member invokes Star Wars in net neutrality fight..Quoting Emperor Palpatine, Republican Ajit Pai, a member of the Federal Communications Commission (FCC), said: “Young fool … Only now, at the end, do you understand.”

THE EVIL EMPIRE OF FCC, NOW CONTROLS THE INTERNET, THE MEMES, THE MIMES, THE MISFITS WHO SIT AND TYPE ALL DAY, GOOGLING AND GAGGLING AND JUST BEING LAZY MISFITS WHO ARE DOWN LOADING NET FLIX MOVIES FOR FREE AND GETTING AWAY WITH PIRACY AND ALL THAT STUFF. THAT'S WHY I AM TAKING OVER BOYS!!!!!
****

It's just about time for another Star wars Recreation movie isn't it? I mean its been a little while since we had a sequel..here's a new idea brewing at this moment...

THIS ONE IS ENTITLED "BAR WARS, ONE FOR THE ROAD"

*****

News Gossip as Told by Brian Williams....Questions have arisen about what the Kardashians are doing, since Bruce Jenner and Kris Jenner split up, and since Bruce decided to change his sex and become a female impersonator. Producers of Keeping Up With The Kardashians, are working hard at keeping the quality programming that reality show fans want, all the sexy innuendos, the hair styles, the fancy dresses and now adding intensity to the plot and changing the whole scenery and title..Welcome to the new reality show called  KNOCKING OUT THE KARDASHIANS

Talk continues of surveillance --not only on the Internet, but phone records, as a Federal court has given the NSA authority to continue the bulk collection of American's phone records at least until June 1st unless Congress decides, and of course you know about the Internet Net Neutrality thing, its big news for those of us who enjoy our forays into Internet googling

****

A Blast from the past--DEAD DICTATOR ESCAPES

***

From the Producers who gave us Home Alone..the once loveable, cute kid, McCauly Culkin has grown ugly alone

***

and Clint Howard, remember him as Leon from the Andy Griffith show or as the little kid from Gentle Ben who was sooo cute at one time? Man talk about your walking horror characterevery weird character role that comes along that calls for the character to be ugly is given to this guy, its what keeps him working in the movies and TV.

**

THEN AND NOW...

went from Steven Segal to Eating Steven Segal

***

Mar 9th, Apple will unveil the Apple Watch, according to Apple CEO Tim Cooke who says it could forever alter our lives as we know it...back to the wrist watch era where we can find out all kinds of information on our watches. Even eliminate the use of car keys. The product will be available April of this year..Time for Latte? Check out this baby..

Believe it or not National Weather forecasters are saying their Weather models are indicating snow for a portion of all 50 States next week..even Texas and Hawaii..wow...NWS in order not to make a mistake has issued this as a blanket statement..

****

And Jihadi John is in actuality Piers MorganThat wraps up a look at the news from this side of the cyber screen, hopefully you have enjoyed letting me get into your headlines. Until tomorrow when I can pull together more made up stuff from the deepest darkest recesses of Brian Williams Mind, May your house be safe from Lions, Tigers, Bears and trumped up political productions made to look like Change

****

Fridays Flipping News Blips

TGIF..Thank God It's Friday, as we flip through the newsPresident Obama will be signing an executive action to ban bullets for the AR-15  semi- automatic Rifle which is one of the most popularly used bullets by  sportsmen and target shooters--why sportsmen would need Ar-15 for shooting deer is beyond me, but I believe in everyone's gun rights. He will also ban the following items as well... automatic nerf bomb launcher and 

the colt .45 caliber semi automatic rubber band pistol

Of course this is part of his, we do this behind closed doors, and then tell you about it, to give the appearance of transparency policy.

****

Checking the Calendar...Today is Friday, February 27, the 58th day of 2015 with 305 days left for Government to ruin our aspirations of freedom...On this day in 1801 the District of Columbia was placed under jurisdiction of Congress..Makes sense, a Government run city---In 1943 The U.S. government began circulating one-cent coins made of steel plated with zinc (the steel pennies proved unpopular, since they were easily mistaken for dimes) (plus if you had a pocket full it really weighed down your pants)...

In 1951, the 22nd Amendment to the Constitution, limiting a president to two terms of office, was ratified. Thank God for small miracles huh?

THIRD TERM ANYONE?
***
In 2005 Academy Awards went to “Million Dollar Baby,” director Clint Eastwood, star Hilary Swank and supporting actor Morgan Freeman.
***
WALT DISNEY STUDIO's putting together a rapper version of a Frontier Classic
***

DC Comics Catwoman is Bisexual...Issue 39 has Selina Kyle sharing a Kiss with Eiko Hasigawa a crime bosses daughter, who takes up the mantle of Catwoman, for the time being, and gets intimate with Selina Kyle in a kiss, while Kyle is the crime boss of Gotham for a while, and none of this is on the TV series Gotham...the only thing on it remotely is Fish Mooney (Jada Pinkett Smith) and she is a crime boss too.. So its one big puddle of poo.
***
Want to get the best training for man's best friend..Red Rovers Training Kennels can prepare your dog for  the AKC championship challenges ahead--maybe
****

Facebook's got a new Gender option fill in

Facebook users who don't fit any of the 58 gender identity options offered by the social media giant are now being given a rather big 59th option: fill in the blank.

"Now, if you do not identify with the pre-populated list of gender identities, you are able to add your own," said a Facebook announcement published online Thursday morning and shared in advance with The Associated Press.

****

A Republican house subcommittee is looking into a secret back up plan by President Obama's administration that allegedly would cut subsidies to health care, should the US Supreme court strike down any major piece of the Obama Care legislation. Of course they are denying that a secret 100 page document exists for such a plan. Yes True Transparency of Government at work...This would affect three quarters of the states in the Healthcare market place.

****

De Niro Socked With $6.4 Million IRS Tax Lien

Feds are dunning performer over his 2013 individual tax return

Deniro has signed up for a new movie...Travis Capone Tax Dodger Hunted

****

Frankenstein-style human head transplant 'could happen in two years'

Italian surgeon claims procedure to graft a living person’s head on to a donor body will soon be ready

***

Net Neutrality by the Government will be eventually costing consumers money, it will limit freedom of speech and the FCC like other government entities will gain more power. Thanks to President Obama's administration, the government has their hands in our pockets everywhere we go..from Obama Care, to Tax penalties to Internet control and regulation...and be ware..because eventually they will be sending their internet tax collectors to your front door

Remember, the internet will have its own Free speech zone

Ladies and Gentleman, the President of the United States of America

***

BULLY IN CHIEF

*****

That wraps up today's useless news you can't use, but its fun to spread it around the Water fountain gossip center anyway...thanks for letting me get into your headlines..until tomorrow or the next time I can piece together more made up stuff from the deepest darkest recesses of my warped speed imagination, may your house be safe from lions, tigers, bears and cyber nightmares

When The News Is More Than Just The News-It's Imagination

Hi, and Welcome to a Thursday, where the News is More than the News..it's the stuff that imagination is made of...Today's news has the Coveted Brian Williams Seal of Approval. Remember its best to write things down so you don't have to remember what you thought you did and report it wrongly. Saves a lot of embarrassment and unpaid time off.
***
Hillary Clinton allegedly funneled money while Secretary of State. Comparing herself to being poor and even doing a video at one time with her and Bill portrayed as the Sopranos, she has set her mark high above any other Secretary of State. 
***
Madonna took a fall from the stage during her performance at a British appearance. She was practicing for her new world Stage Tour...Madonna -The Spillover from Fame to Flame.
****
President Obama is still pushing his Immigration Amnesty policy in allowing illegals in the country not to be deported even though the measure is currently been cut down by a Federal Texas judge as being unconstitutionally unlawful. President Obama in a town hall meeting stated that ICE and Customs agents would not deport any illegals while this issue is being worked out in court, or they would face the consequences---being forced to watch the premier of a home made White House movie starring the VP

***

Donald Trump seriously considering tossing his hair weave into the 2016 Presidential Race. He's hired a Campaign manager and a Vidal Sassoon Consultant.

***

And the push for Net Neutrality as outlined by The FCC, which the Chairman is refusing to appear before a panel to discuss the bill, and supported by the likes of the Ford Foundation and George Soros the Philanthropist liberal who have given $196 million dollars to the cause...continues to dominate the news...as America connects the dots

Get ready for Government take over of the Internet..Big Brother is Watching You

***

The guy who searched for the Titanic and even did a movie called the Titanic has a deal in the making with a school called Muse..it will be the first Elementary school that is Vegan. “In the fall of 2015, MUSE will be the only school we are aware of that is completely plant-based,” said Suzy before James jumped in to finish her sentence: “Plant-based eating — meaning the meals that are served at Muse will be 100 percent plant-based. The average person would say vegan, but we say whole food, plant-based. It’s about raising kids who don’t think it’s strange or exotic or worthy of a pat on the back to be doing the right thing for the living biosphere.”

***

CALIFORNIA PENILE CODE?

A controversial new law has been introduced in California requiring all prisons in the state to install condom vending machines.

The new legislation stipulates that within the next five years California must start distributing condoms in around three dozen state prisons. The legislation is to help stop STDS, HIV, aids and other sexually transmitted diseases.

As an additional note..Prisons have decided they may want to institute the inclusion of Candy in the machines for all those sweet toothed prisoners. Yes Sex and Candy

***

Joe Biden, the VP, or better known as DCs Foot in Mouth Messenger used Black History month to hit on Rich White and Black folks (the 1%) who he says is stunting the economic growth of America. Biden went on to say that it's time for an emancipation of their wealth..which means, redistribution in Socialism lingo---however he did not volunteer any of his money to be emancipated..He did offer one item that he never uses though...

****

That wraps up today's nonsensical look at the news pulled from the deepest darkest recesses of my warped speed imagination. Until tomorrow or the next time I can plummet to lower depths of idiocy may your house be safe from all things unnatural and just plain weird

Mid Week News Hurdle

Welcome to Hump Day as we hurdle over the Mid week news. The Economic forecast for today is Partly Gloomy with periods of unemployment. Fifty percent chance of depression today with extended periods of lackadaisical attitudes while waiting for a better outlook.

***

Portions of today are closed captioning for the laughter impaired.

***

Latest news flash...Researchers for Equal rights equality have listed chess as a racist game

***

These Quick News Blips:

Jeb Bush along with President Obama may differ in politics, but on the issue of immigration, Jeb is for it, and states that Immigrants create far more businesses than native-born Americans over the last 20 years. Immigrants are more fertile, and they love families and they have more intact families.” 

***

A Bathroom explosion occurred over the weekend in Rhode Island, no serious injuries. Just like a scene out of Lethal Weapon. Did you know that Bathroom accidents are responsible for a lot of injuries in the US. Sure with all the methane gas fumes emitted it could easily cause a flash spark with the electric or gas water heater resulting in a combustible experience that could be harmful, if not memorable.

****

I'LL DRINK TO THAT!!!

Heavy drinkers have the lowest IQs, study claims

New findings show a link between a lower IQ and and alcohol consumption amongst young men.  The study, which was carried out by researchers at the Karolinska Institute in Sweden, surveyed 49,321 Swedish men who were born between 1949 to 1951 and were conscripted for Swedish military service from 1969 to 1971. IQ tests done upon conscription, alcohol intake, pattern of drinking, tobacco use, and medical conditions were all examined.

***

Are there similarities in Hillary Clinton's book "Hard Choices" and  GOP 2016 candidate Carly Fiorina, former Hewlett Packard CEO book "Tough Choices"? The Similarities are striking according to insiders. Fiorina wrote her book in 2007 and in June of last year Hillary released her book- you know with all these made up stories about who remembered what and when, and how the stories really went...it's beginning to sound a lot like Made Up Gate. Hillary has not yet responded however one can only imagine what her response would be

****

52 % of the poorest Obama care recipient are having to pay tax penalty of $530 back to IRS as part of the Tax credit given to them based on their last years IRS tax statements. The Poor keep getting their wallets robbed. 800,000 false 1095 tax reporting forms were sent out to tax payers and it is unknown what type of effect this will have on their Tax returns-in reference to refunds or having to pay back portions of the credit. OBAMA CARE...IT WORKS FOR SOMEBODY BUT NOT AMERICAN BODIES.

*****

The Blair Witch Project Revisits The Song of the South

***

The Presidents Overseas China Summit went off without a hitch with stops in Beijing and at the Great Wall for the Ceremonial Bowing Procession

****

And now a special Sarah Palin guest moment 

****

That wraps up the nonsensical, unbelievably sliced and diced and minced together fake news from the deepest darkest recesses of my warped speed imagination. Until tomorrow may your house be safe from Lions, Tigers, Bears and  Russian Dictators with a Trigger Happy Robotic Joystick Fetish