Taking a Page from Brian Williams- A Nose for News and other Saturday Made Up Stories

Welcome to a Saturday---Taking a Page from Brian Williams, a Nose for News and other Saturday Made up Stories, thanks for letting me make up your headlines...Today's news is brought to you by Pinnochio's R Us...the new news toy that is sure to give you truth and an easy indicator for detecting lies in a story...Meanwhile controversy continues..Based on this lie, Disneyland is Opening up a Jurassic themed adventure park with the Brian Williams Jurassic Chopper Escape Ride

The new Cocaine---Cocoa...Take a Hit of Dutch Chocolate---get a caffeine high.
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What else will the IRS give to Illegal Immigrants who are under the Obama Amnesty Program..well built in bonuses for instance, like extra money for having Babies.... A recent Homeland Security Committee hearing on immigration revealed an alarming consequence of President Obama’s executive amnesty—that illegal immigrants with deferred status may be able to receive the Earned Income Tax Credit (EITC). Moreover, this person, who is here in the U.S. unlawfully, could be able to file an amended tax return for up to the last three tax years, possibly receiving upwards of $24,000 in tax credits. Plus you get a neat T-Shirt...
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Criminals trying to outrun the snow and cops in big Canadian Police Chase....news happening now......
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CBS SEXTING MINUTES WITH STEVE KROFT

WELL AT LEAST I CAN REMEMBER WHAT I DID....I DIDN'T GET SHOT AT WHILE IN A HELICOPTER..AND THE TEXTING..WELL AT LEAST I WASN'T DRIVING WHEN I SENT HER THOSE TEXT MESSAGES.
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GOOD NEWS...MEDITATION MAY KEEP YOUR BRAIN YOUNG..HERE'S THE SCOOP:
OMMMMM....OOOOOMMMMM.....OOOOOMMMMM......WHERE IS MY AMERICAN EXPRESS CARD......I FEEL LIKE HAVING A TRANSCENDENT SHOPPING SPREE.....OMMMMMM....OHMMMMMM..

 So although people might be living longer, the years they gain often come with increased risks for mental illness and neurodegenerative disease. Fortunately, a new study shows meditation could be one way to minimize those risks.

Building on their earlier work that suggested people who meditate have less age-related atrophy in the brain's white matter, a new study by UCLA researchers found that meditation appeared to help preserve the brain's gray matter, the tissue that contains neurons.

The scientists looked specifically at the association between age and gray matter. They compared 50 people who had mediated for years and 50 who didn't. People in both groups showed a loss of gray matter as they aged. But the researchers found among those who meditated, the volume of gray matter did not decline as much as it did among those who didn't.

The article appears in the current online edition of the journal Frontiers in Psychology.

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NEW OFF BROADWAY SHOW...A STREET CAR WITHOUT DESIRE....STARRING HUGH JACKMAN AS WOLVERINE KOWALSKI.

STELLA....STELLA....STELLLLLLLAAAAAAA.....WHERE IS MY FINGERNAIL FILE??????

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The Iraqi government on Thursday abolished the nighttime curfew imposed on Baghdad by U.S. troops in 2003, heralding another small milestone in the city’s recent — and surprising — revival.

Prime Minister Haider al-Abadi announced that the curfew will end at midnight Saturday, as well as a series of other measures aimed at normalizing life in the long-blighted capital, even as much of the rest of the country is consumed by war. AND THE PARTIES CONTINUE..AT RASHID'S ROCKING MECCA CAFE AND GRILL....THE DANCING BURQUAS

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I CAN'T BELIEVE I AM EATING THIS GARBAGE.....

MICHELLE OBAMA SCHOOL LUNCH PROGRAM LEAVES A LOT TO BE DESIRED..AS ATTESTED BY THE FLOTUS...

THIS MOLDY MYSTERY MEAT TASTES YUCKY...WHO WANTS A BURGER INSTEAD???

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NATIONWIDE IS ON YOUR SIDE...POPULAR INSURANCE COMPANY WITH A MEMORABLE JINGLE..HAS PEYTON MANNING HUMMING IT..AND IN SUPERBOWL 49, THEY DID THE SAD COMMERCIAL ABOUT THE CHILD NEVER GROWING UP BECAUSE HE DIED..WELL...NOW THE FLIP SIDE OF NATIONWIDE...A NEW ANGLE FOR DATING TEENS...LIFE INSURANCE IS IMPORTANT..GET YOURS BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE FOR SEX.

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Ok, that puts a wrap on today's Nonsensical news that is totally photo shopped from the deepest darkest recesses of my weird imagination, made up and molded together with little insights into this and that. (NO APOLOGIES...Brian Williams did not write this stuff or have any recall..Until tomorrow or the next time I can get into your headlines..May your house always be safe from misinformed news media types who love the hype and headlines...