Monday Morning-In the News Trenches

Good Monday Morning!!! One fifth of your life begins on Mondays--so I hope you enjoy your day. Off and running with a smile on your face and a pile of Paper work on your desk..This is day number 75 of the year 2015 with 290 days left in the year.


In the News..the White House amid the Iranian Nuclear missle talks stopped long enough to celebrate Persian New Year--

First lady Michelle Obama praised the White House as being the People's House, and diversified in celebrating Nowruz Mobarak  Persian New Year..they celebrated with a dance troop and the firing of Persian nuclear rockets from the West Lawn.. 

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The White House has added the following holidays to its calendar to celebrate:

1. Congress Everyday is a Holiday
2. Hillary Email Training Day
3. John Boehner Crying Jag Day
4. Ted Cruz Canadian Maple Leaf Bacon Border Day
5. Marco Rubio Agua Agua Agua Day
6. Eric Holder Fast and Furious Resignation Day
7. Michelle Obama I Ain't Ever Goin' Hongry Day
8. Barak Let Me Praise Myself Day
9. The White House West Lawn Rock and Crack Egg Roll Day
and finally...10. White House Best Kept Secrets Day-Celebrated 365 days a year

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Lifeguard drones tested on beaches of Chile

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Ladies and Gentlemen, the 2016 Female contender for President of the United States Hillary Rodham Clinton,  better known as Inmate Number 456456456...

WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE IF I USE EMAIL FOR MY COMMISSARY 

PRIVILEGES OR NOT?

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A new Medical study indicates the following:

Losing just 30 minutes of sleep a day could lead to life-shortening obesity and type-2 diabetes
Scientists studied the sleep patterns of 552 people to assess 'sleep debt'
Found those who lose 30 minutes of sleep in the week are more at risk
Losing sleep tied to higher risk of obesity and developing type 2 diabetes
Diabetes is linked to increased risk of heart attack, stroke and blindness
Lack of sleep disrupts the body clock and hormones, such as insulin

Further study indicates it isn't that ideal for news hosts either: 

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Don't Smoke in Texas Unless It's Medical Marijuana:

Texas lawmakers introduced comprehensive medical marijuana legislation Friday that would allow patients suffering from serious conditions — including cancer and seizure disorders — to access the plant with a doctor's prescription.

Rep. Marisa Márquez, D-El Paso, introduced House Bill 3785, and Sen. José Menéndez, D-San Antonio, introduced a companion bill in the Senate to remove barriers between patients and treatment, according to Texans for Responsible Marijuana Policy..

Meanwhile the Red Headed Doper Willie Nelson is feeling good about the Medical Marijuana--and even if it isn't Medical, he's still feeling good

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.Coke : IT's THE REAL THING: SNACK

If a column in honor of heart health suggests a can of Coke as a snack, you might want to read the fine print.

fine print: snorting this stuff may give you sinus issues....and causes pimples and cavities and other teenage angst issues.

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And on Ellen today:

Michelle Obama talks to Ellen about 'Let's Move!'

First lady Michelle Obama is on Ellen today to talk about the "Let's Move!" healthy child program — and dancing. First, Mrs. Obama noted that the upcoming White House Easter Egg Roll is devoted to the fifth anniversary of "Let's Move!" and features a social media challenge. "We're asking folks all across the country to (hashtag) #GimmeFive ways they're leading a healthy life," Mrs. Obama told Ellen DeGeneres.

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Fox News is hiring a new Weather Girl:Does she look familiar? Yes Paris Hilton will anchor the 5 Pm weather on Fox news...From Hotels to Cumulus Clouds and Heat Indexes, Paris learns something new.

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SORRY SEN MC CAIN, WHITE HOUSE STAFF ONLY

The White House prides itself on it's Transparency, It's Literacy, It's History and Open door Policy

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White House gearing up for its Annual Let;s Roll Easter Egg Roll for the kiddos on the White House lawn....here is a Message from the Presidential Pooch of the United Statesand the President will regale the children with the Easter Egg Story

AND THE ENERGIZER BUNNY HAD ELECTRIC EASTER EGGS, THAT KEPT ON ROLLING AND ROLLING AND ROLLING AND ROLLING

THAT'S A WRAP....AND A ROLL...DON'T BOGART THAT NEWS MY FRIEND..That puts a wrap on today's Useless news you can't use, but it's fun to delete anyway. Portions of today's news has the Brian Williams Seal of Approval of Recall and Broadcasting. Until tomorrow or the next time I can pull more useless headlines from the deepest darkest recesses of my warped speed imagination, May your House be safe from Lions, Tigers, Bears and Illegal Aliens pushing for Marijuana Reform